Safety Of The First Bdsm London Domme Meeting

This article will help those who want to ensure the safety of their first BDSM meetings at home and safe home BDSM in general.

Do you know your new BDSM colleague well?

Perhaps he can say that he is widely known in certain BDSM circles? Member of some BDSM club or community? Someone of your friends in the subject knows about him? Very often you have to answer no to all of these questions.

So, if your new acquaintance is still known in the BDSM community to one degree or another, do not be lazy, ask about him in those places where he happens, even if virtually. Even the manner of his communication on the forum and his statements can create some initial impression about a person, reveal a range of interests and taboos. And always on thematic forums you can find people who will help you. The more information you collect, the better for you. And when you communicate with a candidate for a meeting, then do your best to get as much data about him as possible – phone, ICQ number , e-mail – all this can be useful to you.

IMPORTANT! If you do not have any information and you do not have ways to obtain it, be prepared to receive it yourself when communicating online or at the first meeting.

The first meeting

The first meeting should not be a home BDSM meeting, i.e. should not pass at any of you at home! It is desirable that it be held somewhere in a place where there are many people. The ideal place is a cafe, pizzeria, trattoria and similar establishments where you can sit and chat in peace. You should refrain from alcohol and be willing to pay for yourself (if you are a girl). If you do decide to order something to drink, try to maintain a sober mind and an adequate perception of what is happening around you.

If you have information that your interlocutor is in a club or constantly participates in meetings of people who adhere to home BDSM, ask to take you with you to this open or closed meeting, it will be useful for you from the point of view of experience and generally give even more information about your chosen one.

Observe the behavior, manners of your new friend. Listen to your instincts. Yes, there is a certain excitement from the first meeting, perhaps you liked your new acquaintance, but do not rush to draw unambiguous conclusions. Listen more, but do not forget to ask questions about what is interesting and important to you, what can better know and understand the interlocutor. If you have met a person who positions himself as a seasoned BDSM man, be wary if you hear the words “I don’t believe in the stop word”, “a true slave has no limit” or “if you are a bottom, then no one can call you.” If they have sounded – know that the person in front of you is dangerous and inadequate.

These are all the origins and rules of common sense, acceptable not only for home BDSM, but also for the most common meetings. But all of these have a huge difference – when conducting thematic sessions, you can remain naked, tied, gagged and handcuffed on your wrists, completely at the mercy of your Top. Therefore, it is not advisable, for your own safety, to end the first BDSM meeting with a session. It will probably be better and safer if you, having liked each other, meet several times and your desire to start a closer relationship increases and you yourself understand that you are ready for the first thematic meeting.

In general, you should understand that among those people who to one degree or another practice BDSM relationships, as well as among other people, the vast majority are normal and adequate, who adhere to universal human values ​​and meet with them is no more dangerous than any new acquaintances. Most of the people you meet will be normal, but there is always a chance of running into inadequacy, but usually such people can be recognized by their words or behavior, and an instinct, a sense of self-preservation will help you to recognize them.

First BDSM meeting

So, if you decide to hold the first joint home BDSM meeting, then you need to discuss with the new partner the rules of the game, what is allowed – what is not, what would you like – what is not, what is acceptable – what is not, what items can be used and what cannot … It is advisable to develop a BDSM scenario for the first meeting or fill out a slave questionnaire – who will get what role and what actions your partner will perform with you.

If your interlocutor

  •  invites you to try something out of your mind, traumatic or ethically unacceptable,
  •  does not want to seek a compromise with you and bends his line,
  •  you feel that he is cheating, pretending, acting unnatural
  •  you are just alarmed by something in him
  • Silent alarm in a BDSM meeting or your escape routes

How to insure yourself against possible troubles that may threaten your life and health at your home BDSM meeting? For this, there is the so-called “silent alarm”. Silent Alert is a close friend you can trust. You must agree with him in advance about a test call (or a series of calls, at intervals) at a certain time. You can call him or he can call you. You can even come up with a code word that means “everything is fine” or “I need help”. Tell your friend the location (address) of the meeting and the time and end of the meeting. This place should not be changed – your safety depends on it. It will be even better if you warn that you will make test calls and why they are needed.

If you meet in a car, find out its number, make and color in advance. All this needs to be communicated to a friend.

Agree on code words similar to everyday ones, for example;

  • Your friend. How do you?
  • YOU. Everything is fine! – for example, this means that everything is really normal
  • Your friend. How do you?

YOU. Who is this? – alarm signal

If your friend received an alarm signal from you – he should not act independently, unless of course he has professional training – it is better to call the police.

You should be aware that you are not the first to use this security method. Even experienced BDSM people use them in their first meetings. They can of course lubricate the enjoyment of the session, but you must remember that, 

Bdsm room

In general, a BDSM room is a specially equipped room for themed games, in which there are appropriate accessories and paraphernalia. Of course, usually the size of our apartments does not allow them to have such a room. Therefore, enterprising citizens came up with the idea of ​​renting out such rooms as a hotel room. The so called BDSM hotel… Why is this room good for the first thematic session? It is both private and public at the same time. On the one hand, you are protected from prying eyes, on the other, you are, in fact, in a public place. And this ensures your safety. Using a BDSM room for the first time is not a bad option, the only drawback of which is the high cost of rent, the cost of which usually exceeds the price of an ordinary hotel room.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.