BDSM School: Safety Of Dominatrix London Mind And Body

Is it a pathology?

The words “pain”, “sadist”, “masochist”, “fetish”, “sexual abuse” scare many newcomers who are just discovering the world of BDSM. These concepts immediately evoke associations with real violence, rudeness and coercion. By the way, for some inexplicable reason, the most innocuous of the above-mentioned word “fetish” in most people who “not in the subject” evokes associations with a variety of sexual perversions. Remember, however, that thematic relationships are built primarily on voluntary action. Those. both sides understand what awaits them, imagine the consequences and want them to come. And before you get scared of any words, you should study the question of BDSM, what is it ,… In them, we have arranged everything on the shelves so that your BDSM is easy and gentle for everyone.

The motives that lead people to BDSM are highly individual. Many are faced with elements of domination and submission from childhood, they like it, but society does not encourage this, it is against it, and people only in adulthood learn that they can find partners with similar interests and there are many of them. Others, as adults, accidentally find out about it from acquaintances, on the Internet, from films or through the media. Many subs (people inclined to submission) occupy responsible posts in life or simply bear the burden of domestic responsibility and routine, and they want to relax, feel the contrast, allow them to do something with themselves, rather than take everything upon themselves again. Many dominants are intimidated by a sense of responsibility, when it is intertwined with a desire for power or sadism in relation to their partners. Almost always, the real feelings and experiences of people differ significantly from the simplified definitions characteristic of a given direction.

It would be unfounded to argue that the biographies of representatives of this community more often include facts of psychological trauma in childhood or difficult trials in adulthood, rather than the life stories of people who do not show interest in this topic. There is no direct evidence of this, although sooner or later everyone asks such a question.

There is also no statistical evidence that this is a problem that complicates the social interaction of an individual with other people in everyday life. Therefore, for the past several years, professional psychologists / sexologists have not included playful BDSM in the category of behavioral pathologies.

It would be wrong to say that gentle BDSM is impossible, because everything here is built on pain and humiliation. This is another delusion. Because such relationships are almost always built on mutual sympathy and often on love. And rudeness is often followed by caresses, or these caresses may be specific, not always understandable to ordinary people. Nevertheless, for people who are the subjects of these relationships, they are just the most tender and desirable.

Certainly, some people who practice such things have been subjected to violence or forced sexual abuse in their lives. However, the proportion of such cases in the thematic community and the vanilla environment is unknown, and the study of this issue is complicated by two factors. 

First of all, psychologists mainly use as subjects for research only those who are really forced to seek professional help. Their findings are based on a study of abused and mistreated people. Unfortunately, some of these violent acts are similar to what is voluntarily practiced in the modern BDSM school. It is easy to lose sight of the fact that actions performed without the consent of a partner, without love and care for him, cannot characterize the same, in the eyes of the uninitiated, actions performed and taken voluntarily, by mutual consent of people.

Another important consideration that makes it difficult to compare the results of psychological research with real BDSM reality is the fact that people from the thematic community are often more open and sincere when it comes to unpleasant facts from their biographies. Without telling the partner about his past experiences, a person runs the risk of running into shocking memories of the past right in the middle of the scene. In other words, BDSM supporters are directly interested in being more open about shameful or sad events in their lives than people who practice vanilla sex. Thus, comparative studies of thematic and vanilla relationships are not entirely objective, as the BDSM community is more inclined to report directly about past violence.

The flip side of this statement is the belief that other people, no matter how easy BDSM they practice, are also adults and responsible individuals, no matter how much they differ from you. You will be surprised to know how much those who have been doing this for a long time and constantly think about it. Religious, social, family and interpersonal taboos are strongly associated with violence, and almost all members of the community sooner or later ask themselves if there are any negative motives or consequences behind their actions. Such questions are justified, but in the end, you should not feel a constant, lasting feeling of guilt about what you are doing if you are an adult and your actions are reasonable, conscious and safe.

If a person thinks and talks a lot on this topic, constant doubts about his intentions, harsh criticism can offend him. On the other hand, it is also irresponsible not to ask a partner’s opinion on these issues. There is no universal answer to the question of how to build a situation if you are not entirely sure whether your partner clearly understands the difference between violence and voluntary consent. Just try to find the optimal combination between respect for a person and responsibility for yourself (your psychophysiological comfort) and your relationship.

BDSM School

We are often asked a rather naive question – are there schools where slaves or dominants are taught? Of course not. If you want to learn, gain initial experience and knowledge, then we recommend

Read BDSM sites

Chat on BDSM forums

Watch themed feature films , videos, photos

Turn on fantasy

And of course, find a partner and start practicing with him what you learned from the previous four points.

Risks in BDSM

BDSM is always a risk. Both emotional and physical. In more or less degree. Here you must decide on two main questions: how much you are willing to take risks, and in which areas you accept this risk. However, it is worth making a reservation that most beginners begin their relationship with light and gentle BDSM effects, which, in principle, cannot do harm. On the other hand, there is nothing completely safe in the world, so we always urge everyone to be careful, prudent and not to lose their heads.

It is difficult even to imagine how broad the concept of safety in thematic relations is. The more you learn, the more ashamed you sometimes feel for your ignorance at the very beginning of the path. Do you know, for example, how to properly tie your wrists without causing unnecessary squeezing of the nerve endings?

Do you know which part of the back and gluteal region is safe for whipping? Did you know that playing with electricity is recommended for use only in the area below the waist, and why? Do you know what to do if a person fainted? Do you know how to properly rinse and bandage a mole that accidentally starts bleeding after touching it with your fingernail?

Our BDSM school will teach you this! Look at the section safety in BDSM – you will be ready to react correctly to possible risks.

Dominants often try new methods on themselves before putting them into practice. They can also ask colleagues who are more experienced in this particular field to show and tell them about the necessary safety measures in relation to a particular device.

In addition, dominants often take on a large share of responsibility for the emotional state of their subs. Most of the dominants, of course, do not want to engage in psychotherapy; it is better to leave this task to professional and qualified psychologists. More often than not, however, the house and the sub are a pair of caring partners, and just like in a vanilla relationship, they help each other deal with possible emotional trauma. The BDSM scenes between them can be very intense and affect the emotional limits of both the sub and the dominant. Experienced BDSM professionals know that extreme scenes can lead to unexpected surprises and long recovery periods; everyone, both dominants and subs, must understand

Your safety

Thematic relationship is based on three pillars: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Oddly enough, the first two concepts are surprisingly difficult to define. Crossing the road every day is also unsafe, and you shouldn’t fool yourself and pretend that BDSM carries no more risk. BDSM is much more dangerous. The main concept here is to minimize the risk, and for this it is necessary to learn as much as possible about the generally accepted safety measures and precautions in one direction or another.

The term “rationality” is also difficult to give an objective definition, since actions that are completely reasonable from the point of view of one person may seem completely unacceptable to another. Scientific research on this issue has not yet been carried out, so it is not possible to determine whether any of the directions are “unreasonable”.

Safe sex is another important aspect of BDSM relationships, even when it comes to monogamous regular partners.

Besides regular sex, some other BDSM gamesalso carry the risk of infection and infection of the body. Standard precautions against sexually transmitted infections (hepatitis, HIV, herpes, genital diseases), i.e. condoms, rubber gloves and basic knowledge of first aid are essential. Such, not entirely gentle BDSM practices, such as incisions and piercings, involve direct contact with the human circulatory system, and here the dominant must not only use gloves, but also first of all treat the skin with an antiseptic (most often Betadine) and wipe it with a swab moistened with alcohol. For anal sex, vaginal and anal fisting and other types of deep contacts, the object itself, be it a penis, dildo, anal toys, hand, fingers, etc., must also be covered with latex.

It is considered extremely unsafe to participate in BDSM scenes while intoxicated, even if it is just a glass of wine. Alcohol slows down the reaction, dulls the feeling of pain, distorts the reality of the situation, the correct assessment of its danger. Many dominants pride themselves on their ability to instantly stop or change the direction of a lash or rod strike in the event that the stop word was uttered while they were already swinging. (In the following sections, we will talk in more detail about the stop word, i.e. about a predetermined code word, having uttered which, the sub can immediately stop the scene or action). Under the influence of alcohol vapors, the sub may not recognize its pain threshold or not have time to give the dominant a signal that the pain has become unbearable.

Whatever you do, there will always be someone who did it before you and drew the appropriate conclusions from this. In BDSM, there is even a common saying called Yugol’s law – to the question: “Am I the only person who is engaged in … (x) …”, the answer is always the same: “No, not the only one.” Whatever you do or would like to do, whatever you think, you are not alone. So why not study other people’s experiences? There are those who dared to go far beyond the limits of your own fantasies, and often these people are willing to share their experiences and experiences.

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